Spelling/Competitiveness

As any of you who have read some of my autobiographical essays know, a major influence in my life was my decision to become an Evangelical Christian early in 1969 shortly after suffering a season-ending football injury in Fall 1968. The surge of power I felt within at the thought that the God of the Universe loved ME and was working things to my benefit in life (which I picked up from Evangelicalism) was only tempered in subsequent years as I realized that being an Evangelical also meant, for me, that I had to "give up" lots of things. One of the things I most regret laying to the side was my competitive nature. I believed that Christian faith was to be modeled on Christ, who didn't assert himself but yielded to others even to the point of death. At least that was the way that I heard the Evangelical message. So, a competitive nature or practice was out the window. Perhaps I could better myself, but certainly the idea of striving after something that someone else was equally striving to attain, became foreign to me. If the other guy wanted a girl I was interested in, I would figuratively say, "Be my guest." If someone wanted to apply for an honor, I would decline also to apply for it, so that I wouldn't appear to be "competitive."

This was only one way among many that my interpretation of my faith got me into a lot of difficulty. The good news is that about 35 years after I adopted this approach, I began to get rid of it. I did so as a 52 year-old who wanted to do the simple thing of competing in a spelling bee. I placed 2nd in the 2004 Oregon Senior Bee and then 2nd in the National Senior Bee later that year. I picked spelling bees in which to compete since 2004 because they affirm the value of learning words, even if I think of myself more of a wordsmith than a speller. They also supply me a nearly endless supply of concepts that I can develop and learn.

An Irony

When I placed 2nd in Oregon and the National Bee in 2004 no one really took notice. I think there was a blurb in my local paper about it, but the idea of "senior bees" or "bees for adults" had really not yet caught the national attention. The irony of my performances from 2004-2007, where I placed high but never actually won either Oregon's or the National Bee, is that by now (2008), the national news media has finally picked up an interest in the subject and they are eagerly looking around for people to interview now that they are on board on the issue of adult spelling bees. Thus, the winners from 2004-2006, all of whom were excellent spellers (Jeff Kirsch, David Riddle, Hal Prince), are getting no media attention whereas I, who have been a multi-time loser, am getting all the calls. For example, in the last two days I have conducted four interviews, with the Associated Press, CBS Evening News, the Oregon AARP newsletter and today, a cultural body in Wyoming, and all of them seem to be interested in presenting me to their readers. For years I thought that I wanted "recognition" in life and fet that it was never forthcoming. In the past three or four years I have given up any expectation for broad public visibility but now it appears that some of it is coming my way. So, the guys who really "deserved" it aren't getting it; I am the one who is still hanging around from those years because I haven't yet won the National Bee (I won Oregon in 2008). In addition, because I am a multi-year "loser," I have taken loads of time to write hundreds of essays on words so that I, as well as my fellow spellers, would be more familiar with this dictionary.

Conclusion

So, now my competitive juices have been released, and I am enjoying the competitions, but especially the words, that might be tested in the competitions. When I gave up pursuing some kind of "notoreity," it tended to come. And, because I have "given up" any ownership or control of the issue, I engage in contests, and interviews, with utter relaxation and enjoyment. My quest now in life it for understanding and for making my understanding clear. If others want to "join in" with me as I pursue my projects, that will be very good. But I am living for the learning now, and not for anything else. And that is the best realization I could ever come to...

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