one more dream and concernt and adeste fideles

I had a two-part dream this morning, broken up by the ringing of my alarm clock. I silenced the alarm clock by hitting the snooze button until I realized that if I continued to do I would be in danger of being late to a Lenten class on Job I am leading. I think I know what triggered part 1 of the dream, but here it is.

1. I was walking along the hallway at the law school where I am an instructor, and over my shoulder I carried a hefty trash bag full of books and old clothes that I wanted to turn in to the bookstore to see if they could use/resell these items. The books were those for which I no longer had use even though I had at one time made copious notes in some of them. The clothes were all still usable though one of the shirts had an ink spot on the pocket where a pen had leaked. Both the books and the clothes were high-quality goods. I actually turned in these items to a group of four students who were sitting at a table in the main hallway. I don't know if they were sitting there waiting for donations (which would mean that I was responding to an "appeal") or how it was that they were there. I didn't recognize any of them to be law students; they appeared, ratehr to be of the age of undergraduates. So, I turned over my contribution to them.

Rather than accepting it and giving me a receipt, the four of them then looked at the items and then huddled together, as if my contribution had caused some kind of debate among them. After several minutes, one of the young men looked at me rather sternly and announced that they would not be accepting my donation. Why? Because I should realize that they really wanted newer books--that only new books were of value to others, and that my goods, therefore, were worthless. I remember feeling a sting of rejection, a sting that was sharper than what I would have anticipated before I handed over the goods. Thus, the first dream had a tinge of humiliation to it.

2. After I was awakened by the alarm clock and fell back to sleep, the image changed. I was still at the university but this time I was either in the concert hall or the chapel (I couldn't tell) waiting for a musical program to begin. The musicians were gathering on stage, and I recognized one of them as a professor I knew from the undergraduate school. He was sitting at the organ console, from which position he made an announcement. He said that they would be playing the Christmas Carol "Adeste Fideles" ("O Come All Ye Faithful"). He also said that we should all stand when the musicians got to the chours, and we should sing out the words of the chorus with gusto. After making this announcement, he left the console of the organ (which was in the back of the orchestra), took up another instrument, which seemed to be a guitar, and then sat right in the front of the orchestra. His face broke into a broad smile as the orchestra began to play the carol.

Before the orchestra got to the chorus, I happened to look around at the audience. The hall was nearly full, with probably 300 or so people enjoying the concert, though I recognized few if any who were there. We were approaching the end of the verse, and the chorus was just about ready to begin, but I didn't notice anyone stirring or attempting to stand up to sing it. Desirous of following directions, I was just about ready to stand (I was on an aisle seat), when I realized that I couldn't move my legs. I looked closely and discovered that lying over all our legs was a thin but, apparently, heavy transparent surface, somewhat like plastic. The plastic made it impossible for us to stand. I was determined, however, to get to my feet, and I managed to peel back the layer of plastic-like material. I looked up at the musician who was smiling at us previously. He was playing with eagerness, but his smile was still on his face, and his eyes were looking directly at me. Armed with the confidence I felt from his countenance, I decided to stand, and I became the only person in the auditorium who was standing. Immediately upon standing, I awoke from my dream.

Meaning?

Often after an encounter with people where I am hurt by their attitude or words, I tend to turn inwards. I tend not to look at it simply as an isolated event, but I see it as part of a pattern of rejection in my life. What pleased me about the dreams, however, was that the second one is such a strong rejoinder to the first. In the second dream I was, like everyone else, limited by an apparently invisible limitation. Yet, I didn't let that limitation hold me back. I was encouraged twice by the smile of the performer whom I knew. I derived strength from him, and decided to try to stand at the chorus even though I and the entire audience seemed to be limited by the plastic substance over our legs. That is, I was brought into my humliation by people, but I was also brought out of myself by the encouraging smile of a person. And, the last word was one in which I was either standing or attempting to stand--even though I was the only person in the audience who was doing so. I awoke ready to go to and teach my class on Job.

And what was it that provided the mental "fodder" for me to generate the first dream? An email note from a student which he no doubt felt was a helpful word of advice to me but which was, in fact, a rather tactless and ill-formed message. The message didn't "sting" like the student rejection in my first dream, but there was enough dissonance for me not to let the student's email message fall completely out of my mind. But the second dream ended on a more robust note than I would have thought possible.

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