Julie's Eidetic Memory: Essay VII

1. I assume you save all your writing from the past. Do you have any idea if the flow or quality of the material you write during some of your hypergraphic "manias" is good quality stuff? Do you think it is worthy of being published? Or, will someone else have to look at it and make a judgment about that? Do you trust other people's judgment of your work or, because of your unique gift, do you just know that it is uniquely yours, a product of your mind, and therefore expressive of your special gift?

"I may have a field day with your first question about whether or not I produce quality material during my moments of hypergraphia and if what I have already written is worthy of being read. During my therapeutic years, when hypergraphia ruled my life, [note--1989-96] I shared all my personal journals with my psychologist. He said he was just as much in the dark as I was in regards to dissociation, and that we would learn together about this debilitating disorder. He needed to learn “how I ticked” in order to help me. Well, when he asked me to share my writings with him, he got more than he bargained for! During one of our sessions, he asked, “where do you store it all?” I found his statement rather amusing, because before I ever shared anything with him, he had already taught me about the many compartments of the human mind and how information was stored in these compartments. I gather he was overwhelmed by just how much information had accumulated inside my compartments! But then, so was I. I became a walking, talking book on two feet. So, here is my answer to your first question.....

1. During that stretch of time (1989 to 1996) I was stricken with severe hypergraphia. My life revolved around my pen and my typewriter. I did not own a computer at that time, other than the one inside my head. I believe that there is a “well of creativity” within a person and that one can learn to tap into that well. I fell in. I was nearly drowned inside this reservoir of creativity and I struggled to understand what was happening to me. I had always been creative, but never to this extreme. In the beginning, I thought I had surely gone mad and that I would be placed in an institution for the creatively insane. It was as if the sages of the ages had teamed up together inside my mind to help me with my writing. I was captivated, and flabbergasted, by what came out
of my mind. Words of wisdom came at me from every
direction (the compartments) and my mind was flooded with knowledge I had no idea I had. I was given a crash course in areas of philosophy, psychology, literature and creativity. Besides my personal journal entries, which I recorded at “warp speed,” I was creating stories, poems, lyrics, screen plays, cartoons and artwork. Even my dreams were invaded with this creative streak and lightning bolts of illumination ripped through my mind. Ideas were flashing through my head faster than I could grasp them. Visions and revelations rolled in and were visually displayed upon the screen inside my mind. Words can not accurately describe the informational overload I was experiencing. I was in shock and in awe of what I saw and my mind continued this assault on my senses around the clock. It was like I was in a race at a phenomenal pace, an “urgency” to write out everything that was going on inside my brain. My thinking was accelerated (rapid processing) and my vocabulary skills were accentuated beyond my comprehension. I considered what I was writing to be way out of my range of understanding. Yet, my mind continued to produce scholarly compositions, intriguing essays and a wide variety of educational and entertaining stories. Captions for cartoons came easily and I produced an enormous amount of drawings. Besides a heightened sense of humor, I also delved into serious subjects and produced stories from a pictorial and philosophical point of view. My mind was on a literary rampage and a steady stream of words flowed effortlessly on paper."

Phew. There is much here that invites consideration, especially the notion of being able to write about and express more than one knows. Ultimately a person would have to read the journals to determine what is "useful" in them. I am also intrigued by the way that this six/seven year period just seemed to "descend" on her. I will have to ask about that in a later email. But I asked two other questions in my email.

2. You said that you are working on a few books, relating to issues of the mind, creativity and imagination. Is the material 'pouring forth' for those tasks, too, or are you finding that you have to spend a lot of time crafting sentences, organizing, planning, etc?

" I have completed two books. XXXX is a collection of short stories based on my life in XXXX and how I learned to adapt and survive the grueling months of winter by writing. It is an assortment of true life experiences mingled with imagination. The Silverlining-hope in the midst of despair, is an account of my life and the horrors I endured at the hands of my mother, a woman who suffered with a severe mental illness. My story graphically describes traumatic memories, the consequences of child abuse, and how I recovered from a debilitating dissociative disorder. I wrote this book during therapy. My third book about creativity is in the beginning stages. I had a minor setback because I had to have brain surgery. A cyst, which was the result of physical abuse by my mother, had lain dormant inside my brain and later as an adult, it expanded to the size of a lemon. It took awhile to recover and regain some of my mental and physical functions. I hope to finish this book over the winter months. Usually, the material I need is on hand, because of my eidetic abilities. I have a steady flow of words, but I tend to get too picky at times as to how I want to arrange my sentences. Since the surgery, it’s been a bit of a challenge to “rebuild” my brain."

3. You mentioned that your gift was neither recognized nor encouraged in school. Do you think that if it was recognized and/or encouraged, that your life would have been different?

"Maybe if teachers would incorporate the use of one’s imagination in problem solving, and in other areas, students might find the learning process more interesting and enjoyable. I’m sure, today, they do. But back during my early school years, there seemed to be a strict learning code that I was expected to adhere to. (this was just my own personal observation at the time) A daily regiment of three main things; what was written on the chalkboard, what was written in the texts, and what came out of the teacher’s mouth. Maybe it was just me, or just the teachers I had, but I felt forced to follow this procedure five days out of the week and that I was not to stray from this routine. This daily ritual of “following the teacher’s rules” did not meet my own criteria. *Note-I had learning deficits and there was no such thing as an IEP. My mind was operating in a visual mode, so all “input” was being transferred into mental pictures. My “output” did not always meet the expectations of my teachers. Also, I was a slow learner and I needed to learn at my own pace. My teachers were usually annoyed and frustrated with me. This led me to distance myself from my fellow classmates, as well as the teachers. Two teachers stand out in my mind, who in my mind, had no business being teachers. My sixth grade teacher was very strict and she lacked patience with students who could not keep up with her. She had a bad habit of striking students in the head with a book when she was aggravated. This approach hindered my willingness to open my mouth and participate in class. Later, in ninth grade, I filmed another teacher who was not worthy of his credentials. He singled me out for some reason and picked on me throughout the year. I became an object for his ridicule, and his often explosive temper. The man was infamous for making me feel lower than the dust on the ground. This approach further hampered my willingness to share in the class. I think had I been given a safe learning environment in which to thrive, I may have excelled with my artistic and literary skills."

Are teachers any better today? It wasn't my purpose to try to redesign the educational system as a result of speaking with Julie, but I think that for those with ears to hear, there is plenty of information to help education look at itself and change.

And, there is more....

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